Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
