I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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