Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
