I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
