I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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