OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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