this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
