You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
