wanna go halves on a baby?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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