remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
