OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
