The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
