just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
