I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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