But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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