You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
