i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
