5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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