i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
