The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize