WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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