Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
