Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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