I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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