Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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