Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
