I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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