If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
