dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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