What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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