ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
