my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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