The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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