So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
