her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize