i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
