No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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