Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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