My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
