Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
