Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
accomplished twins. life is a go
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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