Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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