Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
