i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
false alarm. still invincible.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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