Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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