One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
