this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize