Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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