Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
