Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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