Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
