I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
