is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
