At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm passing your future prison.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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