Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
