Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
