Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
