Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
