I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
