i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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