i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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