i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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