This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize