I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
