i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
