4 words: hood of his car
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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