I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
