just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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