DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
