Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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