his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize