She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
