That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
im holly from the hills drunk
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
