So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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