What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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