i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
