You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Dicks are not precious.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
