omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
