if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
