plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
