Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize