i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize
