So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just cropdusted the office
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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