Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
