i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
