i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
