Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
