Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize