My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
