My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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